Thursday, 31 January 2013

14. Learning To Love - Part Two

*Let me just silently freak out at those 17 comments! That's the most I've ever got lol anyway THANKU so much, now I'm super, super anxious about posting :/ Also some of you might have seen on tumblr or twitter that FY, HIA and maybe even CAHM will be ending within the next two weeks, thanks to those who have been reading them :)) Hope this is okay for you all :/*

"You love me?" She let the hanger and bikini in her hand drop to her side. His face looked a little nervous as he rubbed his thighs.

"Yeah, I do." The cubicle fell silent again before she shuffled towards him shyly.

"I love you too." The relief was written all over his face, as if he was actually worried she didn't feel the same way. Little did he know she'd been itching to tell him for ages. Grasping at her hand he smiled up at her before moving his mouth again.

"We done here? 'Cause I'm starvin'." Her blank expression made him laugh before she swiped the bikini across his face.

"Why'd you have to go and spoil the moment you big doof?" Pouting angrily she grabbed her purse from the hook and pulled the curtain back.

"What? I'm hungry and we been shopping for hours. You still love me though." There was a second of silence before she answered.

"Yeah, I suppose I do." She emphasised the word 'suppose' and went ahead to buy the bikini, even though she hated it.

The rest of their afternoon was perfect to Nicki, although he just saw it as a day out at the mall she saw it as so much more. Plus, he said he loved her. She kept replaying it in her mind just in case the moment slipped away.

"Hello? Earth to Nicki." She snapped out of her drifting, dreamy thoughts and looked at him. "Yo, you were like full on sleep with your eyes open."

"I was day dreamin' actually." Flipping her hair over her shoulder she undid her seatbelt and turned to face him. "I think you should come meet my Mom."

"Really? But won't your da-"

"He's gone." She licked her lips nervously and looked back up at him. "So, d'you wanna come in?"

"As long as your Mom doesn't mind."

"She won't, I promise." Her words persuaded him it was a good idea and he soon followed her lead, walking behind her to the house. It smelt so good when they walked through the door, the aroma of food instantly waking his stomach. "Ooh she's cooking. You want dinner here?"

"Sure, smells good."

"Mhm, Mom's cooking is pretty damn good." She smiled sweetly and dropped her purse before leading him through to the kitchen and greeting her Mother. She was slightly nervous since this was the first time Safaree was meeting her but the nitpicking was non-existent much to her relief.


"I cannot believe you ate two full plates!"

"That was some good food though. Had to stop myself from gettin' thirds." He nodded matter of factly as she lay behind him on her bed.

"You're so greedy." Letting her foot slip off the edge, she kicked him lightly in the head since he was sat on the floor resting against her bed frame.

"Aye, don't be pickin' fights with people more than double your size. You got any idea how stupid that is?"

"No 'cause I'd win." She giggled whilst looking down at him.

"My ass you'd win, I could toss you across the room with my pinky."

"No you couldn't Safaree, stop lyin'."

"Oh yeah?" He whipped his head around and laughed seeing how scared she looked as he got to his feet.

"No wait! Please! I'm sorry I didn't mean it!" Holding her hands up in defence he slapped them down playfully. "I know you're not lyin'!" Letting her giggles overtake the last of her sentence he smiled back at her and flopped on to the bed, causing her body to bounce up a little.

"You're just lucky all that shoppin' made me feel mad sleepy."

"Aww." Rolling over on to her stomach to get closer to him she removed his hat and ran her long nails up and down the nape of his neck, stopping each time when she got to his shirt collar. "Poor Saafaareeee."

"Yeah, poor me." He shut his eyes, enjoying the relaxing moment until a firm slap to the back of his scalp made him jump. "Nicki, what the hell?!"

"Get over yourself, it was just a lil' bit of shopping Safaree. Not a freaking marathon."

"Well it sure as hell felt like a marathon to me. You need serious preppin' for shit like that." His last comment made her laugh, although it sounded mangled and ugly because she was laying on her front he still thought she sounded cute. The comfortable silence soon washed over them both again before she broke it abruptly.

"I'm nervous." The quick and random topic change made him look at her seriously. They probably looked more than ridiculous, both laying motionlessly on their stomachs as they stared at one another.

"Why you nervous for?"

"This stupid ass pool party. I'ont wanna go, Safaree." Her voice was low and quiet.

"How many times do I have to say this Nic? I'm gonna be there with you at all times, I don't get why you're so afraid." He studied her features, waiting for a response and he could immediately tell that there were words on the tip of her tongue. They just weren't coming out. "Nicki?"

"I just am SB. I don't know why, I just..." Her words fizzled out slowly. She was so close to telling him, opening up to him but in one swift moment she panicked and let her problems collect in the pit of her stomach where they'd forever give her grief. Why couldn't she talk to him? Or anyone for that matter. However many people were surrounding her she still felt alone.

"If it's the same issue that we talked about in the change room I honestly don't understand you Onika."

"What?" Her brow furrowed as she moved back to stare at him more fiercely.

"You! You hate everythin' about yourself and I just can't figure why! I obviously see somethin' completely different to what you see when you look in the mirror!" Her face retracted, visibly hurt by his words. Her biggest fear, the possibility that nobody understood her and never would.

"Well I apologise for feelin' so insecure all the time. I didn't know it bothered you so badly." Quickly getting to her feet she jumped to the floor and shut herself in the bathroom. His loud sigh was audible on the other side of the door. He knew he handled that the wrong way, in fact there was nothing right about how he even approached the topic but how could he help her and try to understand her when she wouldn't even confide in him. Groaning angrily at himself he returned his hat to his head and made his way over to her bathroom door and knocked lightly.

"Nicki, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to yell I just, I don't know what's goin' on in your head half the time. I need you to talk to me." He waited for some sort of acknowledgement but didn't receive one. Her sobs were pretty damn clear though. "Look, I'm gonna sit and wait for however long it takes for you to come out but hear this, how can you let anyone else love you if you don't even know how to love yourself?"


It had been almost an hour and her tears were still actively pouring from her eyes as his words continued to plague her mind. He was right. How the hell was anyone else supposed to love her if she didn't even love herself? Piecing her own feelings with his impacting words she felt as though everything was pointless. She could never love herself, the relentless months of torture certain people had inflicted upon her already damaged self esteem was irreversible. Or so she thought. Wiping her face with her hands she sniffled before resting her head against the wooden door, his in the same spot on the other side.

"The hell is this?" His sneer made her blush and start to fidget instantly.

"It's a card, I uhm, I made it for you." The indentation of her dimple deepened as she chewed anxiously on the inside of her cheek.

"I can see that, I'm not backwards Oinka." The spin he put on her name made everyone around them laugh lowly. "Why would I want a card from you?" Her eyes began to sting feeling everyone staring at her and smiling smugly. The embarrassment was unbearable.

"It doesn't matter." She shook her head, the soft curls tickling her cheeks as she urgently caught herself before the tears attempted to surface. "I'm just....I'm gonna go to class." Quickly pushing past everyone she walked speedily to the bathroom and secured herself in a cubicle, letting the hurt start to cut deep into her heart as the pain refused to cease with each teardrop she shed.

Back out in the corridor the laughter was still going and Drake's conscience was screaming at him to run after her but his mind was stopping him from making any sort of movement.

"I can't believe she actually gave that to you! Here, lemme see it?" Tyrell made a grab for the pink valentines card in Drake's grasp. Not able to stop him in time he ripped it from his hands and began to read it aloud.

"Aubrey, for as long as I have known you I've always felt something towards you." He paused to absorb the few giggles that were audible."Wait, wait there's more." He cleared his throat after laughing and proceeded. "I don't know what it is that pulls me towards you but just know that I've never felt this way before. I feel something between us and I hope you feel the same way back." He carried on reading until he reached the end of her heart-felt confession. Her first valentines card she'd ever wrote and it was cruelly broadcasted to the majority of her school in the canteen. Drake felt sick, not just at how horrible he was feeling at that point but at the pain clearly visible on her face. She looked broken.

"Nicki, please?" The low volume of his voice woke her from the seemingly real memory. Her defence mechanism was harming any future happiness she might have to face. Shutting everyone out of her life and trusting only herself was secluding her emotionally. Taking a deep breath she got to her feet and smudged the tears away before turning the handle. He was more than shocked when the door pulled open, his head losing its place of rest before he jumped up quickly. Staring at her heart-broken face whilst she kept focused on her feet he waited for her to say something first. A few long seconds passed before her hoarse and shaky voice was heard.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to push you away." She shuffled out of the bathroom, her arms crossed tightly over herself.

"I know you don't mean to do it. I just wish you'd stop, Nicki." His warm arms embraced her firmly, letting her feel that he was there in more than one sense.

"I can't."

"Why not? This is what I'm talkin' about Nic. Let me in, tell me why you can't." The silence became overwhelming.

How could she tell him something so embarrassing? The fact that it was his friends that made her this way worsened the situation. Folding her lips tightly she hurriedly blinked the tears away and kept her voice suppressed whilst she hugged him back tightly. The sigh he emitted was one she could both feel and hear and honestly she didn't know how much longer he'd put up with this. She was rigid for a moment or two, just waiting for him to release her from his hold and walk away but instead he held her tighter.

"I'm not goin' anywhere Onika. Just remember that."


*This is a three part chapter, so you will get the pool party in part three :) Super sorry I was late posting and it's kinda short. None of my chapters are ever long anyways lol thanku to those who commented last chapter, it'll be a miracle if I get that many comments again XD Hope this was alright :/*


  1. *sigh* My life..

    This was both really cute & really sad. I know it's hard, but I really hope Nicki opens up to him soon. He says he's not going anywhere & I believe him. & I just KNOW if he knew how badly his friends have tortured her, he'd understand completely. They wouldn't have to go to that party or be forced to be around them.

    *sigh* Let your guard down, love.

  2. I love this story carleeeeeeeee sigh can't wait for the next post

  3. She might as well just tell him so that weight can be lifted off her shoulders and so SB can know the kinda friends he has and the bullshit they put her through

  4. I hope she opens up to him. It would lift a lot of weight off her shoulders.

  5. I wish she just tell him, what could he possibly say or do?? He love her and probably will do anything for her. So why not let him in. I really don't want her to go to that party :(.

  6. I can understand how embarrassing it would be for her to just open up to him like that. I don't get how SB fits in with those people tho. He's just so different from them

  7. Aww. Just let him love you Nic :(

  8. I hope they don't go to that party. And Nicki should tell safaree about what happened and how everyone treated her. She needs to lay it all on the table

  9. She should tell him. The fact that its his friends that caused her to be like, he'd know how to handle it. I really wanna know what Mia is trying to do. I just hope her plan fails.

  10. I love the fact that Safaree has patience with Nicki. I hope she opens up to him before it's to late. I know she can overcome the bullying she is a strong girl and has a strong man beside her to help her through the hard times. Drake is a complete ass he could've spoke up for Nicki but he was too much of aput I to do so. It would be lovely if whatever the arch enemy has planned to ruin Nicki actually back fire on at the party!!

  11. The way my eyes lit up when I refreshed the page and seen this new chapter! Ahhhh I love them. Why can I feel the pure pain she's goin thru. Wahhhh so sad. But soooo good!!! I can't wait to see what goes down at the pool party (I hope nothing too cray but I feel it will lmao) keep going with this story tho, the way I've already re read it many times. So good and the writing >>>>>>

    Hope u post soon :) xoxo - claire

  12. Awww I loved this chapter, I hope she tells him. They're so cute

  13. *sigh* I loveeeee this story! You're such a great writer. I really wish Nicki would open up to him before the pool party, so he knows what he's dealing with when it comes to his friends.

  14. I need you to post like NOW!!!!!

  15. I just re read everything and now im not bored just waiting in this next post plz post soon!!! :) :)

  16. Post ASAP I'm in love with this blog! Xo

  17. Post soon ❤❤


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